Go grab that bag of mistletoe, ok, honey?
Come on, Maxwell. Just pick a tree. It's freezing out here.
It's not so simple.
This tree's got to fall within certain parameters.
Parameters? - Height, circumference, color, density of foliage.
Look at this diagram.
You know how Isabel gets this time of year.
The Christmas Nazi,
driving everyone insane while trying to have the perfect Christmas.
The worst thing you can do is play into it, Max.
You've got to fight her. You've got to fight the Christmas Nazi.
Come on. I got to get to the hardware store before it closes.
I got to get Maria her present.
Why? Are you gonna get her a ratchet set?
Never mind. I'm under a lot of pressure.
She's been busting my ass for weeks about this present.
She says it's got to be significant.
Then you might want to steer clear of the hardware store.
Daddy! Daddy!
Maxwell.
Someone, call an ambulance. He's not breathing.
Let's go.
Oh, this poor, poor family.
Tragic.
I mean, this man gave his life to save his daughter.
Now, that's a true hero.
- Where's the Christmas Nazi? - Last I saw, she was examining our outdoor lights for errant bulbs.
Max. This is, by far, the most pathetic Christmas tree I have ever seen.
Did you even refer to my diagram?
I had to run out this morning. There were only a few left.
You know, I give you one tiny, little assignment, and you can't even handle that?
Something came up.
Well, if you had told me you couldn't go, I would have squeezed in time to get it myself
between the hunger drive and Christmas dinner at the nursing home.
Isabel, did you know that this family lived only 4 blocks from here?
It's so terrible. A few of us are talking about organizing a vigil for his family.
Beautiful. A vigil? You know, that's nice. Candles. Yeah.
You know, I think I saw at least 17 burnouts on 2 and 5. Oh, what do you want to bet there are some flickering ones on 3 and 4, because they always seem to have problems, so check those, too, you know? You should never be careful because once 2 and 3 are gone and...
Max. Great. He's doing laundry now.
Dad, is there a reason you haven't finished hanging the rest of the outdoor Christmas lights?
I'm sorry.
How could you let me die?
- I need to talk to you. - Yes, spaceboy?
We got 3 days til Christmas, and I'm working every day until then.
And? - I was wondering if it was necessary to
- exchange presents on Christmas day. -Need a little wiggle room?
If that would be all right. I mean, what's a couple days?
You know, I figure we can make a date for the 27th or 28th.
Sure. No problem. How about the, uh, second week of january?
I mean, what is Christmas but some arbitrary day.
What is it again? Oh, yes. The birthday of our lord and savior. It's no big deal.
So, that's cool?
You give me that damn present on December 25th, or I'll never speak to you again.
Hello? Brody?
Maria. Hi.
Flash update on my non-boyfriend Michael Guerin.
First of all, he had no intention of buying me a Christmas present, right? Then, he tried... Maria. I'm sorry.
This just really isn't a good time. Oh. Ok.
Listen. I'm gonna be away for a couple of days. Uh,
you don't need to bring my lunch.
Fine.
Is... is everything all right?
Yeah. Fine.
Merry Christmas.
Go, go. Run, you tub of lard, run!
No, nooo! What the hell are you doing?
His mind and body are in deep conflict.
When one's heart and one's mind are not in balance, one's body is the first to fail.
What?
I'm very concerned that you're starting to make sense to me.
All I'm saying is that if the guy can't visualize his journey to the goal, he has no chance of taking the rock downtown.
It is a zoo out there.
God, every store is packed with desperate people trying to find the perfect present.
Oh, and the streets are loaded with overzealous people singing.
And then, there's all these insane people dragging Christmas trees on top of their cars.
But, clearly, you guys don't bother with Christmas trees.
We've got ours out in the garage. Plastic.
well, I guess there's... no hurry to bring it into the house then.
- Well, actually, we haven't brought it in for a few years. -We like it in the garage. I use it to dry my socks.
Good. Second down. Second down, here we go. Come on. Come on. Visualize. Oh, and about Christmas dinner. I hope you guys aren't planning some big...
- We usually hit the Crashdown for turkey. - $7.95- all you can eat
Great
You know, I don't celebrate Christmas anyway.
- This is a toothbrush. - It's an electric toothbrush. It's practical.
It is practical. Are you gonna give it to Maria as a stocking stuffer?
Hell no. This is gonna be her present.
She set a price limit. If I exceed that budget, then there's gonna be hell to pay.
Actually I think Maria would find it in her heart to forgive you for exceeding the price limit,
though there would be hell to pay if you gave the girl you love an electric toothbrush for Christmas
You're better off getting her no gift at all.
No. I tried the "no present" idea last year. It didn't work.
Last year was your first year together, and you didn't give her a present?
Hey, I don't even believe in this,
so why should I get sucked into it? The whole thing's a marketing scam invented to make people buy things they don't even need.
Well, you could write that on the card when you give her a dental product for Christmas.
So, what should I get her?
Okay, look. Go home. Think about all that you and Maria have shared,
all that she means to you. Then start coming up with some ideas, ok?
A Christmas gift should be personal, thoughtful, and something
someone would never get herself.
Now I've gotta go,
'cause I've got a rehearsal for the holiday pageant, dinner at the nursing home.
- I've gotta wrap a ton of presents, and now I've got to get a new tree.
- Hail the Christmas What was that?
Nothing. Bye now.
-What are you doing out here? - I just want to make sure they're all right. They're not all right.
If I had exposed myself last night, there are people I would have put at risk.
But it was ok for you to heal Liz Parker.
- How do you know about that? Because I know everything in your mind, heart, and soul, Max. I know it all.
I will look after your children. I swear I will.
For how long, Max?
Until they're ok.
They'll never be ok, Max. Don't you understand that? They lost their father last night.
You know how we said that we were gonna try to be friends?
- Yeah - I think I need a friend.
Oh. Ok. Come on in.
Ok. Last house of the night. 5-year-old girl with cancer.
Daddy, come here!
There was a crowd, a huge crowd, and everyone was watching,
and I... I... I could have healed him, but I didn't.
Max, listen to me.
Listen. You can't hold yourself responsible for that man's life.
He gave his life for his daughter, and I let him die.
If you healed him, you would have exposed Michael, Isabel, and Tess.
Well, that was the sugar-coated version, Max.
Now tell her what you were really thinking.
I wasn't thinking about Michael and Isabel and Tess.
I was thinking about myself in the white room and being tortured.
I didn't heal that man, because I was protecting myself.
Why couldn't I trade my life for his?
No, Max, look. You can't do that to yourself.
- He's haunting me, Liz. - What do you mean?
He comes to me. I see him.
You mean you literally see him.
I have to do something.
Max! Max. Max, what are you talking about?
I don't know.
Can't get rid of me that easily. I got no place to go.
You need to restore the balance, Max.
I need to restore the balance.
- Maria. - Hey.
- What are you doing here? -Um, I don't know. I'm just... I'm just here.
- You're wondering about Sydney. - Yeah.
- She's my daughter. - She's very beautiful.
Thank you.
She's staying with me for a few days, you know, for Christmas.
She has, uh...
Cancer. Yeah. It's in her bone marrow.
Inoperable.
I'm sorry.
I know you and I talk a lot and that I've never mentioned her.
I just don't...
it's hard, you know, to talk about it.
If there's anything I can do, anything at all...
Thank you.
You did enough last night. You have a beautiful voice.
Daddy, I can't get my crown to fit right.
- Who are you? - I'm Maria. You must be Sydney.
Yeah.
Now, is, um... is that a Christmas present you're wearing?
Sydney's gonna be in the holiday pageant this afternoon, aren't you, sweetheart?
All right.
A bit big, isn't it?
There we go. It's lovely, isn't it?
It's a bumper.
- Yes, I see that. -For a Jetta.
How did what I said yesterday result in this?
It meets all your criteria
It's personal, because I personally know what a bug she has up her ass about how much we screwed up her car.
It's thoughtful, because I had to go to the junkyard and get it, and it's something she would never get herself
for the obvious reason that her bumper's been hanging from a string for the past half-year.
Ok, Michael. This is what I'm gonna do.
I am going to take the Christmas dog show off my calendar and take you shopping and rectify this situation.
No. I'm not gonna get obsessed over this present.
This is fine. I'm not gonna make everyone else around me miserable.
What are you saying? That I get obsessed and make everyone around me miserable?
- I didn't say that. - You know, is it too much to ask that one day a year,
I can be like a normal human being with a normal life and have a merry Christmas?!?
No, mein fuhrer.
What?
Oh. Is it all right if I leave some gifts here? I have more shopping to do. Leave them on the table.
Bye-bye then.
"Meaty Man"
in case the game runs late on Sunday, and we don't make it to the Crashdown. Go long, go long, go long.
Oh, my God. Jim.
Amy De Luca. Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas. Oh, merry Christmas, Kyle. -Merry Christmas, Mrs. De Luca.
Oh, my God. This must be the famous Tess. My daughter Maria has told me so much about you.
I deny everything.
Oh, well, this is a true Christmas story, Jim,
Jim, making a home for this lovely young girl.
Oh, it's nothing, really.
Oh, no. Come on. This is what Christmas is all about, you know?
Opening your heart and creating new family.
It's just a temporary thing.
never you mind. Come on. This must be a very special year for all of you. You have a new member of your family.
Yep. Very special. Yeah. I bet.
Well, our tree is overflowing already,
but, you know, I always say that you can never have too many Christmas ornaments, right?
Right. You know, that's what we say.
Well, remember, Jim,
if you ever want to stop by, there'll always be a De Luca Christmas pie waiting.
Thanks, Amy.
Uh, thank you. Ok. Um, bye.
Ok, you guys. We worked really hard, so just don't forget to smile, ok?
Oh, my God.
- I've been crying all day. - Maria.
Liz, I've made up my mind. I'm gonna be there for Brody and Sydney.
Yes, definitely..
You know, we could go put together a care package from the Crashdown.
- So they don't have to worry about making food. - No. No. I mean, I'm gonna be with them.
What are you talking about?
Brody is such a good man. He really is.
And Sydney...
I mean, we only spoke for a minute, but we had this,... like,
-immediate connection. A girl needs a mother. Oh, no, Maria. Slow down.
I can't take it anymore, Liz. It's just so sad. I have to do something.
Maria, you're 17. You're in high school. Brody is not.
My mother was married when she was 17. Ok.
No. It's not exactly an advertisement for marrying young, no, but...
Maria, you can't just step in and become someone's mother... and what? All of a sudden,
you're just gonna be with Brody?
Did Brody say something to you? Did you talk to him about this?
I mean, what is making you think this?
He said he liked my voice.
Oh, my God. What am I thinking?
I'm gonna marry Brody? I mean, I'm crazy.
No, you're not crazy.
It is... it's just killing you not to do something about this, because you are such a good person.
But I think the best thing you could do is just ... leave them alone.
Their time is precious right now. You should let them have their time together.
I mean, it's so wrong. It's Christmas.
Christmas is supposed to have happy endings and miracles.
Hi, everyone. Welcome to this year's holiday pageant.
I'm Isabel Evans.
Some of you know me as the director of this pageant, others may know me as the president of the"hunger drive". "
and still others might know me from the many holiday events at the nursing home,
and some of you know me as ... the Christmas Nazi.
But enough about me.
Let's feast our eyes on the cutest darn kids in America.
Welcome to Roswell's 23rd annual holiday pageant.
Looks like we have a plan.
You heal her, and you leave behind a silver handprint,
a nice, big fat clue saying there's aliens in Roswell.
Look. Nasedo destroyed all the records from the special unit.
It's possible no one even knows who we are
or what the silver handprint is.
Look, I know what I'm asking here is big. There are a million reasons not to do this and only one reason to do it.
I need to. I don't know what else to say.
What we've been through this past year, it's taken a lot away from us.
I think maybe that sort of thing starts to take its toll, you know, on our human side
so if you feel you need to do this, then I'm behind you, Max.
Thank you.
Look. If this means so much to you, I'm sure there's a good reason for it,
so I'm with you, too.
- I guess that makes me the odd man out. - Michael.
Hey, we're here for a reason, Max.
So call me a selfish jerk, but I don't think
we should risk everything just so you can feel a little bit better
about yourself at Christmas.
3 against 1. I'm voted down anyway.
You made your decision before you walked through that door. I know you did. I could hear it in your voice,
so why don't you just go do what you're gonna do...
and make sure you don't screw up.
Ok. I think we're just about ready.
Oh, Kyle, could you grab 2 more dining room
I looked in the garage, but I couldn't find any.
- Oh, that's 'cause there aren't any.. - Uh, what do you mean?
Uh, we don't have any other chairs.
All we have are 2 chairs?
doesn't that seem a little odd to you?
Well, we used to have more chairs, but over the years, our collection has dwindled.
So it doesn't bother you that there are only 2 chairs in the entire house?
We usually eat in front of the TV.
He's never gonna pick up this spare. Come on, look within, you putz.
Guy's amazing.
I have been cooking for 20 hours,
while you two have been sitting back on the couch like 2 beached whales,
not even noticing or caring that I am living here.
Ok. I am here. Hello. Hello?
So, since I'm living here, I should have a damn chair to sit in!
- We could bring my desk chair over. - Good idea.
Oh, and, uh, where's Amy De Luca going to sit?
Amy De Luca? Why does Amy De Luca need a place to sit?
Because... I invited her over to dinner.
- You what? -Well, I figured if we had a guest,
you two would have to shut off the damn TV
- and pretend to be civilized. - When is she coming?
Uh, about now, actually.
Oh, my God. No, no, no, no.
no! Come on, now. Don't do this to me. Come on. Help me out, will you?
NDon't ever invite somebody over to dinner without telling me first.
Ah! Jeez Louise.
- Amy. - Hi, Jim. Hi, everyone.
It was so nice of you to think of me, Jim, and I loved your note.
My note...
I miss you, too.
It's too late, Max. They rushed her to the hospital.
Boy, do you have a dilemma.
- She had a relapse. She's in the hospital in Phoenix. - And?
I'm going. It may be a little more dangerous now.
- I just thought you should know. - I'm going with you.
I just want to keep you from getting us all killed.
- Are you sure you don't need any help? -No, I'm fine.
So how long have you and the Sheriff known each other?
Oh, a long time.
A long, long time.
He knew me before I was legal, right, Jim?
Really?
Well, actually, we always sort of knew each other, but the first time we actually met,
he almost ran me over with his dirt bike.
Well, what the hell were you and Curt Pressman doing laying out there on that mesa...
That is neither the point or proper dinner conversation.
Of course, the second time I met him, he arrested me.
Really, you arrested her?
- Is that 3-cheese potato gratin? - With bacon on the bottom. Your favorite.
Standing in front of a pile of old rocks with a bunch of hippies.
Oh, for protecting a native american treasure.
Tomatoes, tomatoes
All right, and then finally, the third time we met, he rescued me.
Yeah, I've heard that one, but don't let me stop you.
Don't exaggerate. You didn't need to be rescued.
Of course I did. The attic was engulfed in flames...
So you need me to carve that?
I got it. Thanks.
Well, so this... this is really, uh... this is really great.
Well, I saw a break in the NFL schedule between the 22nd and 24th of December, so I figured...
Right. Well, this is the best Christmas dinner we've had in a long time.
I mean, 2 guys living alone. We just never really had the Christmas spirit.
Well, it, uh, looks like he's got the spirit now.
That's a really great gift that you gave him ... to both of us, I mean.
This is a great gift to me, too.
One knock means be on your guard,
2 means the coast is clear...
- and 3 will mean we're screwed. - Right.
- WShh. It's ok. - Who are you?
I'm just a dream. Go back to sleep.
Excuse me? I'm supposed to check this ward.
I'll save you the trouble. Someone just checked it.
Are you an angel?
Go back to sleep.
Open this door! Now!
If there's a God, please help us now.
Our baby is ok. The cancer is gone. It's a miracle.
We prayed everyday
and... and God... God spoke.
Now that... that is a miracle.
That might be overstating it a little.
They did say they were all undergoing experimental treatment.
Philip, put your finger here.
I mean, one day those children were at death's door, and the next day they were completely healed.
That wasn't medicine, honey.
And the part about the imprint of the hand on each of the children.
I mean, if that isn't enough to
get you to believe in God, then I don't know what is.
Can you put your finger there?
And, I mean, maybe it's even enough to, uh... get Max to join us at midnight services tonight
What do you say, Max?
Spaceboy...
What's up?
I just wanted to let you know that I heard about what you did for Sydney and those children.
Thank Max. I was against it.
This whole... thing
with Sydney has made me realize how stupid I've been about this gift thing.
- I don't need a gift. - I actually got you one.
- You did? - Really?
Yea, I'm so excited. What is that smell?
No, it's not... it's not dry yet.
Is that a bumper? It... it's a bumper.
- Is that, like, a Jetta bumper? - Not yet, but it's gonna be.
-Michael... that is so thoughtful. - That's what I keep saying.
- I mean, my bumper has been hanging... - From a string. I know.
-And I... I would have never, you know... - Got one for yourself. Exactly.
So... Merry Christmas.
Thank you, Michael. Thank you.
. So you want to exchange gifts now?
Are one of those for me? One of those are for me.
Yes, I'll go get it.
Ok, which one? Is... is it the big one?
Turn around.
"Michael, just in case. Love, The Christmas Nazi"
Merry Christmas.
- What is it? What is it? - That's a good question.
Now remember, I was in Phoenix saving lives, so I was a little strapped for time.
Michael...
- these are real pearls. - What?!?
- Wow! Of course. - My God, this must have cost you a fortune.
I'm sure they will.
TThese are the most beautiful earrings I've ever seen,
but I don't need this gift.
This year my gift is you.
-So you don't want the earrings, then? - Oh, no. I'll keep the earrings.
So I hear you went to Phoenix.
Yeah. Thank you... for telling me about Sydney.
Are you still haunted?
I don't think so.
Healing all of those kids... why did you do it?
After I healed Sydney,
I... I looked at the face of the boy lying next to her,
and I just thought... how can I not... how can I not use my gift?
As beautiful as that is, Max... you can't keep doing it.
I know it seems like there's no reason for those kids to have cancer
or for a father to get killed saving his child or for any of it...
but maybe there is.
Maybe there is someone
or something out there that's planning all of this, and maybe you have to respect it.
You're not God, Max. You're the one that told me that.
Will you come to midnight service?
I'd like to...
but I don't believe in God.
Merry Christmas, Liz.
Merry Christmas, Max.
hey'll be ok.
My wife?
She's, uh...
she's pretty remarkable.
If anybody can get through this...
I want you to know that if they ever need me...
I will be there for them.
I know you will, Max.
Get outta here
I don't know where to go.
It's Christmas You should be with your loved ones.
That's where I'll be. That's where I'll always be.
You're going to midnight service?
You don't believe in anything.
Gotta hedge your bets, Maxwell. I've had my prayers answered twice in the past 2 days.
Don't ask.
You ok?
Better. Thanks.
Your powers?
Yeah, they're starting to come back to me.
Good.
I just wanted to say that I'm really pissed about what happened last night.
Michael... I couldn't stop myself
No, no, no.
I'm pissed that I don't have the ability to help the kids
in the hospital that you couldn't get to.
Michael...
Enough said. I got a Christmas present for you. Come on.
I thought you didn't believe in God.
I believe in you.